For curriculum developers: Here is the text of this Activity, to copy into your lessons as needed.
SELF CONFIDENCE and Appreciation for ME…
Having confidence in yourself starts with appreciating who you are as a person. What IS self- appreciation? Let’s take a look…
Self-Appreciation… An understanding and admiration for who I am and what I bring to the world as an individual.
What makes it SO important that you understand and admire who you are and what you bring to the world as an individual?
• You are one of a kind and your existence here is absolutely significant. No exceptions!
• No one else has your fingerprints.
• No one else’s heart beats the same rhythm as your heart beats.
• You are ‘one of a kind’ and there is no one else like you on this planet… There never has been and there never will be.
• In your own special way, you have something to offer this world that no one else can. (Yeah,
it’s true. Who you are and what you do matter THAT much.)
• What else can you think of?
How does Appreciating yourself help you respect your mind, body, and soul?
• You will feel better physically, mentally, and emotionally.
• You will have confidence.
• You will have less stress.
• You will be content.
• You will enjoy life more.
• You will not hurt yourself (emotionally or physically).
• What else can you think of?
What can keep you from appreciating yourself?
• Society defines your success: looks / money/ achievement.
• Others are too hard on you.
• You are too hard on yourself.
• You listen to the world’s negativity.
• You spend too much time in someone else’s business instead of taking care of your own.
• You brush off compliments from others.
• What else can you think of?
Which of the things listed on the previous page are IN your control?
• Being hard on yourself.
• Listening to the world’s negative talk.
• Spending time trying to change other people.
• Brushing off compliments
Which of them are OUT of your control?
• How other people will treat you.
Let’s identify some ways other people cause you to doubt yourself.
1. They tell you that you are not good enough / smart enough / fast enough / talented enough /
etc. “You can’t do that. You’ll fail. You are not smart enough.”
2. They cause you to question your own abilities or dreams by creating doubt within you. “Are you sure you want to do that? It sounds really difficult.”
3. They say or do something that makes you feel guilty about being YOU. “Oh, I could never do that! I am not smart enough. I wish I was as smart as you are.”
Why do people create this doubt within you?
Reasons that are NOT useful… Reasons that may be useful…
They don’t want you to succeed They have experience and want to share it with you.
They want to bring you down. They care about you and don’t want to see you get hurt.
They think they know what is best for you, and want to BOSS you. They think they know what is best for you and try to help.
They are afraid that you will do better than them and create self-doubt within THEM. They are afraid, and want to protect you.
Who in your life creates this doubt in you?
What do you want to do about it next time it happens?
What can you do when another person causes you to doubt yourself or discount who you are?
• Check to see if you can understand the motive of that person without asking.
• Ask him / her what is the purpose / what is the reason?
• Dismiss the doubt and proceed with your plans.
• Consider the questions and see what your gut tells you.
• Let that person know how he / she is making you feel and ask them to stop.
• What else can you think of?
You can choose how you react to people and decide if they make you doubt yourself. Will you let them choose for you or will you choose what is best for YOU? The decision is yours.
There are many ways to learn to appreciate and respect yourself. Can you list some here?
You can use the tools you’ve learned here to address feelings of self-doubt. Being AWARE of what makes you doubt yourself can actually give you power to believe in yourself. Believing in yourself is a wonderful step towards Self-Appreciation… which leads to Self-Confidence…
When you appreciate who you are as a person, you are saying
“SELF, I see you and I believe in you. I respect you. I appreciate who you are and what you are.”
When you appreciate yourself, you have more confidence. When you have more confidence, you make better decisions and enjoy life more. Let’s take a look at what self-confidence might look like for you!
Tackling the issue of Self-Confidence…
On a scale of 1-5…
1 lacking self-confidence and 5 being very self-confident, how would you rate your self- confidence?
1 2 3 4 5
What is true self-confidence?
• A positive outlook on life.
• A sense of purpose.
• A sense of hope.
• A sense of Self.
• Loving who you are.
• Respecting who you are.
• Faith in yourself, your choices, your passions, your needs, your wants.
• Knowing how to get your personal needs met in healthy ways.
• What else can you think of?
Where does this kind of true self-confidence come from? Or… how might you get it?
• Self-appreciation
• Education
• Encouragement from others
• Life experience
• Being loved by others
• Believing in something bigger than yourself
• Learning from your mistakes
• Watching someone else who has true self -confidence
• Nurturing yourself / being kind to yourself / honoring all parts of who you are
• What else can you think of?
Why is it so important to have this kind of self-confidence?
• To achieve success
• So you take care of yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally
• So you make healthy choices regarding school, friends, opposite sex, drug & alcohol use
• So you see the beautiful person you truly are.
• So you can be who you are intended to Be.
• So you excel at various activities.
• So you live joy-filled, peaceful lives
• What else can you think of?
Self-confidence versus arrogance… what’s the difference anyway?
How might you recognize a person with self-confidence?
• The way he/she carries himself/herself: posture?
• Facial expressions, including eye contact with others?
• Physical appearance, do they take care of themselves?
• Ability to interact well with other people and not seem self-conscious
• What else can you think of?
What might cause you to assume a person is ‘arrogant’ or ‘over-confident’ or ‘stuck up’?
Many times the way you recognize self-confidence looks very similar to the way you recognize arrogance. It’s important to review your assumptions here. Many of people want to have self- confidence, but they negatively judge those who have it. It’s sort of a double-edge sword! Because self-confidence and arrogance can look dangerously similar, people often avoid expressing self- confidence because they don’t want people to think they are stuck up.
Do you think it’s true in our society that confident people can sometimes be judged unfairly? Are you worried about it?
What might a fear of being ‘stuck up’ cause you to do?
• Put yourself down frequently
• Brush off compliments
• Make excuses for your good fortune or blessings even if you have purposefully chosen your way into a ‘good’ life.
• Be fearful of what others say or think about you & your choices
• What else can you think of?
List 6 things you really like about who you are.
1
2
3
4
5
6
List 3 things you want to do differently so you’ll like yourself more and show more self confidence.
1
2
3
Write about how you might do each thing differently starting today.
1
2
3
True self-confidence is used to pull others up…
What are some ways you might ‘help’ another up and along the pathway of life by using your self confidence?
• Encouraging another
• Taking time to listen and share your own experiences
• Sharing wisdom you’ve learned
• Pointing out their successes/gifts they might not be noticing
• Taking time to understand what it might be like to walk in their shoes
Too much confidence or arrogance is used to push others
What are some ways you might push another person down along the pathway of life by being arrogant or over-confident?
• Judging
• Looking down your nose at another for not succeeding as you have
• Not taking time to share what
you’ve learned in a helpful, loving way
• Assuming the gifts you have are more valuable than the gifts another person has
List some ways YOU currently pull others up.
List some ways your currently push other down.
After learning more about true self-confidence, rate your confidence again.
On a scale of 1- 5… 1 lacking self confidence and 5 being very self-confident, how would you rate your self confidence?
1 2 3 4 5
Did your score improve?
If not, do you know what to do now to bring your score up?
Are you willing to do it?
Write down three things you will do to bring up your score. It might help to think about it like this…
What are three things I can do to appreciate myself more?
1
2
3
How will this information help you in key areas of your life, like a job search and self confidence?
How will this information help you once you get that great job that’s coming your way?
Remember that you are unique. You are one of a kind. You have a special contribution to make to the world that no one else can ever make. Now that’s something to have self confidence about!
